


Ice Coffee

by Nassthel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Mention of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nassthel/pseuds/Nassthel
Summary: Eren is now major and have to survive in the wild and changing world.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of this came up a year ago and i finally wrote it ! Writting this fanfiction was a challenge for we as o never write like that. I will try to post a chapter/week, I hope you'll enjoy it !

The World was glowing. The world was happy. The world was celebrating the day. The March sun was shinning slightly. Spring was coming slowly. Flowers had started to grew, student were enjoying the beginning of good days. Here and there we could hear people talking and laughing. It was a beautiful day and the shy morning sun was reflecting on the university windows directly in Eren’s eyes. His eyebrows were frown in an attempt to protect his eyes from the flashing light. He was walking fast. He looked in a hurry, he was just in a bad mood. 

Noises had taken place in the cafeteria. Only few table were free. Like earlier that day, people were laughing and talking there and here. Each table seemed to be surrounded by joy. Each but one. That table was calm. Almost out of the world. Surrounded by silence. It wasn’t as joyful as they wished it to be. All the student around it remained silent until Jean cleared his throat to capture the attention. He put his cutlery and begin “anyway, guys, I have an announcement, I, and Marco,” he said, pointing at the boy next to him, as if the other didn’t knew who was Marco, “are officially together!”he finished proudly. After that announcement chatters begin to take place on that table as well.  
Between all those discussions, Eren was eating fast and without a word. Soon he finished his plate, stood up and, with a quick congratulation to the new couple, leave the noisy place. 

The night was cold. The wall was cold. The floor was cold. Everything looked grey. No one was here. He was alone. He was fixing a blank point. Seeing nothing but his own emptiness. All he got was a big sport bag and his backpack full of books.  
“What are you doing here?” asked a man who was coming out of the establishment. Eren looked up to see Levi, standing in front of him and looking at him with curiosity.  
“Nothing, I needed some air… that’s all.” Eren was talking fast. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were red proving that he spent more time in the cold winter night than he would admit.  
“What’s that bag for then?” asked Levi rising an eyebrow to show his wonder.  
“That’s...” he sigh “I ran away” he lied.

The small staircase was damp and dark despite the light. He was following Levi, wondering where he’ll finish. He didn’t asked Levi. He just silently followed him. Across the floors. 

The living room was pleasant. There was a bookshelf, full of books and some other objects, a small table, some chairs and a couch. Eren was on that couch. Sitting straight. Scratching his finger skin until some blood fell on the floor. He didn’t cared. It didn’t hurt him or he wasn’t feeling that pain. His mind was full of other thought. Some noises were coming from the kitchen. But Eren didn’t noticed that. He was in his world just to be snatched of it by Levi. He put a small plate on Eren’s lap.  
“Happy Birthday, Eren.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Fuck my life. Yes. That suck, being me. ‘Sucks to be 18. Sucks to be his son. What’s the point to wake up to live days like that? None. It’s useless. Utterly useless. This is shit. Life is shit. And now I’m just a lost guy. ‘don’t have anything any more. No roof, no right. Not even the right to be alive. I’d be better dead. At least I could feed trees or worms. He’d be better without me. No he is better without me. Who am I to him? No one. To nobody. Do I really have other reasons to be alive than to piss him off by my only existence? I lost every thing. Lost my family, lost my belongings, and I’m losing my friends too. Maybe I should go. Where? Huh, doesn’t matter. Some where, any where, every where. A World trip would be fun. At least I Knew, right? It’s not like he hadn’t warned me, right? That bastard. All he was waiting was that day. Asshole. “you should be grateful I’m keeping you until you’re majority” yeah, fuck you, I don’t owe you anything! What am I?! A cat? Yeah, a stray ill cat. Whatever. He can die, I don’t care. He’s just a prick. A fucking shithead. Better dying in the streets than living under his roof. I won’t. I won’t die. I won’t lose against him. He’ll see. He’ll see just how far I can go without him! But now what? I don’t have anything left. I’m naked. No money. No where to go. I can’t squat Levi’s flat all year long. I just can’t. I was lucky to meet him today, but we barely know each other… He and I? Weird story… Won’t stay here. I don’t want to. I don’t belong here. Why does I have to end here, in a nearly stranger’s flat? What a day. I should have died yesterday, before all that shit happened. Shit. How is it possible? To think I lost every things that quickly… What a joke. Well it’s not new… My life was always so depressing. Fuck… I don’t have the strength to deal with it now… I’m to tired… To empty… Just…. Not now… Later. Today’s not the day. Today is just a shitty day.”


	3. Chapter 3

Music was playing joyfully in his ears. Eren was humming alongside with Brian Setzer only to stop when he saw Armin.   
“Hi Armin” said Eren to greet his friend “Can I ask you a favour?”  
“Of course Eren, you know you can! What can I do for you?” Asked Armin, looking at Eren with a questioning glare.   
“My house is flooded right now.. Er, ‘can’t sleep there… Can I come at yours for some days…?” Eren took his suppliant tone even if he knew it was unnecessary. His friend was already nodding in approbation. “Nice, thanks Armin, you get me out of a sticky situation.” 

The Arlert’s house doesn’t seemed to be impacted by time. Same old shabby furnitures, same old moist wood scent, same old mournful decoration. Eren often came here as a child. Playing and watching movies with Armin. He settled his bag at the foot of the bed of the room he’ll occupy for some times. The smell of dust filled his nostrils. No doubt, the house was the same. 

“Will you be fine?”   
“Yes”  
“Don’t you need anything?”  
“No, ‘m fine.”  
“If you need anything ask me! You won’t bother me!”   
“I know, Armin, please can you let me close that friggin’ door?” And so he finally shut the bathroom door. 

Discussions were rising in the friends troop. Eren was talking with two of his friends, Jean and Marco, while others were a little further talking together.   
“Wish I could join my mum.” Words came trough Eren’s throat unexpectedly. Jean and Marco looked at him without a noise. Eren had his hands in his coat pockets. And he was looking the opposite way of their friends while in usually was looking them or in front of him. At that moment Eren seemed to be more social misfit than he truly was.   
“’M Just kidding guys” he added to put an end to the awkward silence. The two other looked at each other with the same thought. Their friend was weird. Something was wrong.

The old dusty box was full of toys. Most of them were broken. All of them were abandoned. Nothing had changed. The room was like a time capsule, the house was full of memories. Just being here plunged Eren back in his past. He was sitting on the creaky chair in front of the wonky desk. He was writing without paying attention to the place or the noises coming from the house. He was fine alone, in front of the paper, in his own world. He knew that it was useless, to wrote down all his ideas and feelings. It didn’t mattered. He liked moments like this, where he could just free is mind. When he was writing nothing else mattered. He was out of the real world. Far away from reality, alone in a soft place, a place where he could forgot himself and let go of everything. He was, at that time, happy, a little smile had taken place on his face.   
A small knock tore him out of his bubble. The reality felt on Eren’s shoulders. He wasn’t in a fantastic world where nothing could harm him. But he didn’t had the time to get use to reality, Armin was already in the room.  
“Are you okay Eren?” asked Armin  
“as always” responded Eren.  
Armin didn’t go after the answer as Eren hoped. He stayed still, looking at Eren like he wanted something else.   
“What are you doing?” he asked, coming closer to look at the paper Eren was fulling with words.   
“’M Writing.”   
“What are you writing? Can I read?”  
“No Armin, you know I don’t like it when people reads what I’m writing”  
“Yes but we are friends right?”  
“It doesn’t matter whether we’re friends or not. In fact I’d more comfortable with a stranger reading it than someone who knows me.”   
“Okay Eren…” Armin looked at his friend before he added “Do you need something Eren?”   
“No I’m fine. You know Armin if I need anything I know where to find you… You don’t have to come every hours to ask me.” Eren raised his voice, starting to feel irritated by the insistence of his friend. He just wanted to be alone to write.   
“I just wanted to make sure you where fine. You don’t need to get angry for that Eren.”

The friend troop was sitting in circle on the football pitch next their university. No one was playing so they had decided to settled here. The circle was huge because they were a great group. Everyone was talking and it was impossible to follow every conversation. Armin looked at his watch and stood up.   
“Eren, it’s already 5, we should go home!” he said. Eren paused his conversation with Berthold and Connie to looked at Armin.   
“Are you serious Armin? It’s only 5 right? So no big deal… If you’re going, then go, I’ll came later” said Eren before turning back toward his other friends with whom he had a discussion. 

Since he was at Armin’s he didn’t had to do anything. Armin was always here, insisting to do it. Eren haven’t said anything about it even if he hated it. He wanted to be independent like he was before. He used to do all the chores and cooking for himself. To live by himself. Being there, being pumped wasn’t for him. He needed to feel independent and free as a bird.  
Looking at his friend doing everything for him made him a little irritated. He was feeling useless.   
“I could have done it Armin...” he complained.  
“Oh no Eren! I wouldn’t let my guest do the bad work! don’t worry, I can do anything” And so he did everything and Eren felt like a child or a prisoner. 

He stretched his arms. He was proud of what he had written. He was feeling accomplished. Eren closed the complete document and put the old DVD, he had found in a drawer, in his computer. He couldn’t resist the urge to watch that movie again. When he was little he used to watch Dumbo at least once in a month with Armin. It was their ritual. He hadn’t seen it again since they entered middle school. He get out of the room to find Armin.  
“Hey, Armin?”  
“Yes Eren? Do you need something?” said Armin with sparkles in his eyes, thrilling to help.  
“Not exactly. Just… d’you wanna watch Dumbo with me like we used to?”   
“Oh Eren, I would love to but I can’t do that you know… I have so much to do! I am so sorry”  
“’t’s okay Armin… Next time maybe...” And so he watched the movie alone. Feeling disappointed in is friend. He felt like they weren’t as close as they were. They were pulling apart and he couldn’t do anything about it. It filled him with sorrow. 

The music was playing loudly. Everyone was dancing on the high notes of Earth Wind & Fire. They were celebrating Jean’s birthday in Berthold’s house which was the biggest house of theirs. They always had the habit of dancing in circle so they all faced. But that Saturday was not the same. That year came with too many changes for Eren. He was looking at his friends. Looking how they slowly shattered the circle, forming smaller groups of two, three maximum. Here Connie and Sasha were imitating chickens or other animals, there were Jean and Marco dancing eyes on eyes, or over there Reiner, Berthold and Annie were sitting close, talking probably. Eren, alone, on the dance floor, looked at all those little groups feeling like a spare part. He didn’t had anything to do here. He felt a black hole formed in his throat. He needed some air. So he left the transformed living room.   
The cold air attacked his face as soon as he walked outside. He had no idea of the time. He just knew he was feeling to empty to party with his friends. To tired to dance and laugh. He sat on the swing chair refreshed by the dew. He rose his eyes only to see clouds hiding the starry sky. He let a sigh vanish in the night. 

Reiner sat next to him, making the swing chair sway a little. They stayed in silence for a moment before Reiner broke it.   
“You okay?”  
“Yeah…. Just… doesn’t really feel like partying right now, sorry for that”  
“don’t be, it’s okay, you don’t have to be over-happy every day of your life, w’wont blame you if you’re down”  
“I just don’t want to spoil the party” The discussion followed between them until Sasha joined them and sat on the wet grass. Soon after her came Connie, Jean, Marco and then all of them. They were all outside, talking in circles as always. Only Armin was missing. He was never really into party. Seeing all his friends forming a circle like they were warmed up Eren, but a part of him was still sadden. 

It was a long day and all he wanted to do at the end of it was relax. He wanted to rest with his favourite hot drink, watching a movie, his favourite probably. He threw his backpack and his shoes on the bedroom he was using and went to the kitchen to make the hot drink. But at soon as he entered the room Armin came out of nowhere.   
“Do you need something Eren?” He asked and Eren knew it couldn’t end well.   
“I’m just gonna make a Caramel Latte”  
“Ho Eren, don’t bother yourself! I’m gonna do it for you!!” said Armin happily. That was it. Eren couldn’t stand it any more. Making the coffee was a part of his relaxing routine. And he couldn’t contained his anger longer. Maybe it was the day. Maybe he was just in a bad mood but in the end it exploded against his will. He said many things under the anger. Everything he was thinking about Armin for some times. That he felt trapped in the house. He felt like he was useless. He was tired. He was upset. He was at his limit. Saying all he got in his heart, feeling a knot in his stomach, he made his bag. Cramming all his clothes in it without paying attention.   
“I can’t live with you Armin.” he said before slamming the door for the last time. The slamming knocked down Armin’s movie’s tapes.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking hand in hand was their new habit. They both liked that, even more when it was cold outside, like that day, so they weren’t sweating, they were warming up each other. They were talking about the movie they just seen at the theater. Jean was talking with excitement while Marco was listening as if what Jean was saying was pure gold. Smiling, not paying attention to the look their joined hands were begetting. They where happy together. They stopped on a pedestrian bridge.   
“Hey Marco!” said Jean “do you remember?” Of course Marco did. They were at the exact same place of their first encounter. Marco nodded and Jean followed, never stopping talking. He had leaned on the bridge’s fence, looking at the metro underneath his feet. “there were like a storm right? Torrential rain, blowing wind! I even thought it would have blow away that jughea – d…”  
Jean stopped mid-sentence and Marco joined him to see why. He didn’t get it until he saw the said jug head in the subway station.   
“What is he doing?”  
“Don’t know…” They looked at their friend. He was pacing up and down. But he stopped to go and sit. And he began all over again. He walked, sat, walked and sat again until the subway arrived. At that time he stood up, grab his big bag and then fell back on his sit and let go of his bag.  
“I told you something was off with him” said Jean. They exchanged a look and decided to go join Eren. 

The next subway came with the putrid smell of sewer. The wind it created blew Eren’s hair which were starting to grow freely. He was close to the rails, ready to step into the car. His mind wasn’t. He hadn’t decided yet if he should stay or go. But stay where? Go where? He had nowhere but the idea of running away appealed him. He hadn’t thought further. The door were opened for some time now and he wasn’t moving. He wouldn’t go in that one. Maybe the next. He was taping on the floor with the tip of his left foot. He was nervous. He was stressed. He was lost. 

“Eren! Hi.” Eren turned to face the incoming voice.  
“Oh, Hi guys” he said with amazement “What you doin’ here?” he asked  
“We saw you from up there” Jean said, pointing the bridge “decided to say Hi! Where are you going?”   
“I… well...”  
“Do you want to join us?” proposed Marco “we were just walking in town, maybe we’ll grab food or something”  
“Oh um…” He looked at the new subway coming in the station. His mind wasn’t fixed on going so he accepted the invitation. And so Jean and Marco entrained Eren on their date. 

Discussion were flowing easily as they were walking letting their instinct guide them. They looked at some shop windows, entered in some, past their way for the others and stopped in a park to eat some snacks they had bought. They didn’t stopped talking and laughing. Jean and Marco hadn’t stopped thinking that Eren wasn’t well despite the smiles he was giving them.

The laughter filling the room slowly tone down.   
“Well, um… see ya...” Eren isolated himself in the room Jean and Marco gently offered him. They were living in a little flat. They were flatmate before forming a couple. So they had, in that flat two bedrooms and one of them had been converted into an office. Eren was in the latter bedroom. Jean and Marco put an inflated mattress on the floor, apologizing for the lack of comfort. Eren felt shamefaced. They didn’t had to apologize for the mattress, they were offering a roof. It was already enough.   
Eren sat on the floor, next to his bag. He huddled up, posed his head on his knees and closed his eyes. He was tired. He just wanted to fall asleep until all his problems were solved. But he couldn’t. He had to live. He couldn’t flee. He was stuck in the real world. And he wanted to see more of that world. He wanted to understand why all the greatness his friends enjoyed weren’t for him. He wanted to discover them. And he knew. He knew that somewhere, someday, he would be able to be delighted by it as well. He just had to wait and seize the opportunity when it’ll come.   
He grab his bag, opened it and lift his notebook out of it with a pen and he wrote.   
A gentle knock popped his bubble. He realized the night had fell over the city. Has he been writing for that long. He had no idea. He had lost the track of time between the lines and words.   
“Yes?” he finally said, his feet back on the ground. Marco opened the door slowly and the room was quickly filled by a flavoursome smell.   
“Are you hungry? We are going to eat, If you want you can join us”   
“I’m, yes, I’m coming.”

The three of them were sitting in the living room. Jean was on a chair, his guitar in his hands. He was playing and singing. The other two were listening. Eren was squeezing a cushion in his arms, sitting cross-legs on the cream coloured couch, Marco at his side. Jean hardly ever played but Marco loved when he was. It was a moment out of the world.   
“didn’t knew you had one skill horse head” Eren said at the end of the song.   
“thank you fuckwit. Wanna fight? C’mon play, show us your marvelous skills”  
“No, I can’t fuckin’ play”  
“Huh, not like I care, I just wanna see you make fool of yourself” said Jean, handing his music instrument to Eren who grabbed it without a choice. “C’mon, play something!”   
And so Eren played some cacophonous notes. They all grimaced.   
“Yeah no, stop, it’s frightful! And my poor guitar must suffer from such incompetences!” said Jean in a dramatic tone, recovering his precious. They all laughed. They were happy. Eren was feeling a little better. 

He added some salt to the preparation. It was the first time he cooked since he had left the familial house. He realized it missed him to cook. As he was pouring water into the pan he let himself get lost in his thought. He quickly lost the trail of it. First he thought of Armin, how was he doing? Can they still be friends? To many question pushed him to think of something else. His thought were following the water’s movements. It went round and round in circles. He was lost in the middle of it without realizing he was in the eye of his life’s storm. 

When he entered the flat, Jean and Marco were cuddling on the couch. They hadn’t heard him. He closed the door as slowly as he could. He didn’t wanted to bother them. Eren walked into the spare room, sat on the chair in front of the desk and sigh. He wasn’t with the couple for that long but 5 days seemed to be more than enough. He was already searching for a job and a flat. Searching a solution to be independent. He made his bag, ready to go. His decision was made, the next day he would give back their intimacy to Jean and Marco. 

He looked at his pastas. They were delightful but he wasn’t really hungry. He had to talk. He had to say it. He looked up, saw them. They were smiling. Jean was talking, Marco was laughing. He set his eyes back on his plate. Eren was digging in the pastas with his fork. It wasn’t something difficult to say. But it was difficult to implement. He wasn’t thinking of running away any more. He wanted to move on. He had to. So he cleared his throat and talked.  
“’Wont squat your flat more time, I’ll leave tomorrow”


	5. Chapter 5

She was living alone. Her flat was small but it was sufficient for her. It was only a bedroom, a small kitchen and a bathroom but she was fine with it. Furniture were derisory. She only had one set of cutlery, one desk which she used as a table when she was eating, and one chair. She didn’t even had a bed base. She only had a mattress. But Mikasa was fine with it. She never wanted more than what she needed. Eren shouldn’t had came at her place. But he was there. Ha hadn’t forecasted to stay more than a week in any case, so it’s wasn’t really a problem what she had or hadn’t. 

Mikasa and Eren were sitting on the mattress, taunting each other and talking like they used to do. As they talked the discussion became more and more serious. Eren knew the subject would fell at some point. He wasn’t ready to admit it out loud. Even in front of Mikasa whom knew most of the story. Eventually she started to ask him serious things and he didn’t wanted to answer those questions. She wanted to know what happened exactly. And he knew that she thought it was the right way to be there for him. It wasn’t. The right way was to talk with him about anything but that. Eren just dodged the questioning as much as he could. Mikasa kept asking and Eren kept withdrawing into himself.   
“I know he flung you out, but why?”   
“You know the reason why.” ultimately said Eren. 

Eren didn’t passed much time with Mikasa. In fact he passed most of his free time alone. He was, bit by bit, forsaking his friendships without realizing it. He felt it. Felt that he hadn’t a place in the troop no more. He didn’t realized that it was his choices that put him apart. He wasn’t talking much and as soon as he could he would run off, pretending to have some things to do. It wasn’t completely a lie. He had things to do. He was searching for a way to became independent. But that was what debarred him from his friends.   
“What other choices do I have?” he muttered for himself, once again lost in his thought.   
“Did ya said somethin’?” Sasha asked him, turning her head toward his.   
“No, not really. ‘m just talking to myself…” He said without giving her a look.   
It was new, for Eren, to avoid looking the people he was talking with. He had no idea why but he was feeling, at that time, like a prey. Deep down he was afraid. Afraid to be on his own. Afraid to lose his remain family, his chosen one. He knew that they would probably never leave him, even less for that, but he couldn’t helped it. The fear was controlling his mind, telling him that something was wrong with him and made him remained silent. 

If Armin wanted to do everything, Mikasa wanted to know everything. She always seemed to be obsessed by him. If before he wasn’t really bothered by it because she wasn’t pushing to know all his life, living with her changed the game. Being alone with her in such a small place for more than 3 hours taught to Eren the reality of the nightmare it was. Was it him or them, he didn’t asked himself. It didn’t really mattered. The facts were there. He wasn’t able to live with his two best and childhood friends. And so he didn’t even stayed one week at her place. He couldn’t stand the constant interrogations of Mikasa. He even regretted his week at Armin’s place. 3 days after setting at Mikasa’s one he left on a whim.


	6. Chapter 6

“Great. What a wonderful idea Eren. And now what, uh? Now I’m alone outside, in the cold, hated by my two best friends. Yes. Well done. I must be a genius. I don’t even know where to go. Would be fun to burst into tears right there, right now. In the middle of the streets. Or maybe I should jump under the subway? I don’t even know why I’m still trying. It’s not like I have a dream, a life goal or something, someone. No. I’m just a robot. A fucking robot. I’m just doing what society tell me to do. Live, find a job and then, when I’ll be old enough and useless to them I will finally be able to quit this stupid life. Why the fuck is it so cold! Shit, I was fine at Jean and Marco’s too bad I’m not a cat I could have stay there. Right now I’m just a burden to every one. Must be great not being me. Well at least I have my bag, right? What good is that exactly? it’s just pieces of fabric sewn together with more fabric inside. What a joke. That’s all I have. Basically nothing. Well, be happy Eren, it’s not a rainy night. Yes thank you, myself, I’m much more happier right now. You are truly a great help to me. Thanks. Ah ah, Nice, now I’m completely mad. And freezing…Shit… I’m so cold… Ah… 'kinda feel like dying tonight”


	7. Chapter 7

The lecture theatre was noisy. Monday morning were always the worst. How can they always have so many things to say? How can they always talk so loud. Why was he compelled to listen to their stories of no importance? Usually he wouldn’t mind. But that morning he couldn’t help but notice. They were looking at him. No, they were staring. Was it because of his bag? Or because of his look. Because that day, Eren looked awful. He looked like he was going to collapse, dragging this big bag and his feet. He looked dead inside and outside. He was lackadaisical.   
He wasn’t following the class. At that point he didn’t even cared. He might not be here the next day. He was here because he should be. He was there physically. He no longer wanted to be himself. He no longer felt to be alive. All he was, was irritated by nothing and everything. All he wanted was to crawl up and die. 

Laughters and discussion. As always, the friend troop was joyful. They were in the hall of the university, as always, talking. Loud laughters came from Reiner soon followed by Jean and Connie. Eren smiled at the joke directed at him. He wasn’t offended but he was to listless to laugh like they were. Like he used to.   
“Oh, come on Eren, it’s a joke! You’re not funny today!” said Connie, smile stuck on his face.   
“Well, sorry to no be a brainless flesh heap Connie” he said, staining his eyes in an ironic scorn, which made the other burst in laughter again.   
“Uh, Boys” shyly started Berthold “It’s not that I want to ruin the fun here but I’m heading home, see you tomorrow” he finished. The rest of them said goodbye to their colossal friend before they did like him and got back home.   
Eren was all alone in the hall. All his friends had leaved but he had nowhere to go. He felt abandoned. Left out.

The half moon was shinning above his head. He was freezing. All he could think was that he would die of hypothermia during the night. Everything was the same. He has been wandering for 2 weeks and half just to be back to the beginning. Everything was still cold and looking grey. Eren turn himself into a ball to keep his warmth as long as he could, waiting for the cold to snap him. He closed his eyes. All he had to do was to wait for death to come catch him. But while waiting, he though. He thought that maybe he should help her and kill himself instead of waiting. The idea seemed to be stuck into his brain.  
“Is this a running gag?” Levi’s voice came to Eren’s ears, drawing him out of his dark thoughts. Eren remained silent, looking at the man in front of him. What could he respond. His brain was going crazy, trying to find something to say, but Levi saved him “guess you can come with me again” he said.

It was like the first time he came. His bag took all the place in the damp staircase, following Levi without a word. They entered the small flat, he put his bag on the floor and then himself on the couch.   
“sorry to bother” he finally said “again” he added.  
“Don’t be. I’m okay with it. I wouldn’t have invited you otherwise” Said Levi.  
“I know but still… sorry”  
“So… do you want to talk about it or is it just as simple as you ran off?”  
“we could put it like that, I suppose” Eren said, looking up at Levi, who was standing in front of him, hands on the hips. Eren was feeling pathetic. Miserable. He put his eyes back on the wooden floor. “But, it’s more the opposite… I got well…. Thrown out by my dad… I don’t… I don’t really want to talk ‘bout that right now…I’m just so tired…”  
“It’s Okay Eren. You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”  
Eren looked at Levi, a question burning his lips. Levi haven’t said anything but his eyes talked for him. And so, Eren asked, under the questioning glare of the other.   
“Why are you so kind and just… Helping me without asking anything in return?”   
Levi stared at Eren, searching his words. Searching, deep down in his mind the real reason of his urge to support this young lost guy. The answer wasn’t written on Eren’s forehead nor in Eren’s eyes. But Levi found out why he wanted to help Eren by looking at him.   
“Because I know what it’s like to be all alone.”  
Eren slightly widen his eyes at the reason Levi gave him. He wasn’t expecting that. Never in his whole life he felt like this. Those words, as simple as they were, warmed him. At that moment he understood why he felt so depressed all this time. At that moment, he realized that ever since he came out, he was living alone, put aside from everyone, in his own, lonely world.


	8. Chapter 8

The sunlight was reflecting on the white and empty walls. The sound of footsteps where echoing in the whole flat as Levi was walking toward the living room. Eren turned over him, a little smile on his face.   
“That one is perfect” he said. 

Levi stood in the main room of his flat. Looking around him he felt like he was about to give up a part of his life. He look at the bookshelf’s place just to see the shadow of it. Nothing has been left. The flat wasn’t pleasant and warm-hearted anymore. The only things that were left was the darkness and the wretchedness. A hand on his shoulder bring him back in the present.   
“Has melancholy taken you for good Levi? C’mon it’s time to go… but if you want to stay here forever and ever well, feel free, but I’m going.”  
“Shitty brat.” he answered before stepping outside and, for the last time, closing the creaky door. 

Even if the night had fell, it wasn’t cold. Spring has totally chased cold days and nights. It was still a little chilly but Eren felt nice under the blanket of the fresh weather. Most of the shops were already closed. The only ones who were opened were restaurants and bars. From Eren’s eyes, the streets were beginning to recover the beauty he hadn’t seen for years. People were enjoying the first night of weekend, and somehow, he was enjoying it to. Lights felt like stars, and he felt freer than ever. 

As they enter, boxes were still to be opened, scattered in the whole flat. Seeing all of them, they looked at each other and said “later” in symbiosis. They took off their shoes and let themselves fall onto the couch. Even if most of their belongings were in boxes, the flat felt like home. Eren wasn’t squatting someone else’s flat no more. It was his and Levi’s one. And it felt great no to be a burden for no one. It felt great to be independent. To be in his own house.   
“We’ll be good here.”


	9. Chapter 9

Eren was stuffing his backpack with all he needed for his day. His books, his note books and his pencil case, before heading out of his room. “Hi Levi” he said toward his flatmate who just woke up.  
“Are you compel to record every moment?” said Levi, looking at the camera in Eren’s hand. The said camera was new in Eren’s life. He got it few days earlier, with all his friends, Levi included, for his 19th birthday.  
“Yes! I have to get use to it! Plus, I love to record you in your worst side.” Responded Eren, behind his belonging. His smile was hear-able in his voice. As he was weirdly zooming on Levi’s face, that one was forming some insult with his lips without saying it out loud. Which made Eren laugh before he stopped filming.  
“Any ways, I’ll be late! See you.” he said before stepping outside. 

The sun had began to rise and the sky took an orangish shade, covering landscapes with a golden sheet. The dew had covered flowers and made spider web visible between hedges. Breaths were transformed into small condensation clouds. Here and there we could hear people talking and laughing. Eren joined his friends and the noises, a smile on his face. He looked happy, and he was. 

The friend troop was in the disastrous queue to the cafeteria. Once again in his day, Eren was recording his daily life. Capturing the smallest details. Filming his routine in his university. Recording as he talked with his friends, as he grab food and as they settled in the cafeteria. The cafeteria was filled with noises and Eren’s friends group doesn’t improve the clutter. Reiner was talking loudly about how his tackle allowed his team to win their last match. And if some of them were listening to that story, the others had their own discussions.  
“Hey guys!” said Jean for all of them to listen. He had to raised his voice to have the attention of all of his friends. “So… We should do something for my birthday, no?”. All of them agreed. It was a rhetorical question to launch the discussion of a party.  
At the end of the lunch the birthday party was set for the following week-end. 

The night had started to fell on the city and the setting sun gave to the town a rosy coat. Stars were beginning to be see-able and the moon was sharing the sky with the sun. Many people were on the streets and Eren had to Slalom to pass between them. His way back home was enjoyable. The fact that he had somewhere to go, somewhere where he belonged, lightened his heart. 

The night had totally fell over the town. Streets were covered by the tenuous beam of the moon. A thin rain had began to fall, playing its music on the windows. But if the lulling sound could pass through windows, the coldness of the night was stuck outside. In their flat, Levi and Eren were spared. Music was playing slowly in their living room where Eren was, sitting on their new soft carpet, his hands fidgeting with a marble.  
“So, will you come?” he asked Levi who was in the kitchen. From where he was Eren could see him shaking the whatever beverage he was cooking for both of them.  
“I don’t know..”  
“Pleeease Levi!”  
“I don’t really know your friends Eren.”  
“meh, it doesn’t matter! c’mon, they said it’s cool for you to come along.”  
“i will think about it.”  
“Thanks, but don’t take too long right?”  
“right”  
Since they started to live together, Eren’s life had changed. He wasn’t coming home just to shut the door of his bedroom and hide. He no longer feared to be ignored, alone. For the first time since his mother’s death, he had some one to whom he could speak if he needed. Someone he could truly trust and count on. Since he moved with Levi in this flat he was feeling he could finally be himself. He was feeling free. He no longer had to wore a mask. No longer had to be someone he wasn’t. He no longer had to be woeful. He was finally felicitous.  
In the small kitchen they had, Levi served the drink into two large glasses and added straws in it. He walked back in the living room, gave his glass to Eren and sat on the couch. Eren looked at his drink with confusion in his eyes.  
“huuuuh…. what’s that?”  
“Ice Coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the "official" end of this story, but don't leave yet, there's a "bonus" chapter, or may i call it an epilogue!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the bonus chapter, because i had two ending for this work i call that one a "bonus" so i don't have to deal with the difficulty of choosing!

The sun was already shinning above the city as Eren woke up. Yawning, he passed his fingers through his long hairs to put them behind his ear. He looked at his smartphone. Some unread messages and notifications from social media. He get out of his bedroom and went directly in the kitchen where Levi was, red pen in right hand, writing over an already filled paper.  
“Hi” he said toward Eren who just hummed to respond, still half asleep. Levi wasn’t bothered by that answer. It was typical of Eren to be wordless in the morning. Eren started to make his breakfast. He took two eggs and cracked them on the frying pan. A Butter smell started to invade the room as Eren was making his coffee, pouring it into his favorite mug.  
He finally sat next to Levi on the servery with his coffee and his plate of eggs with a slice of sandwich loaf. Eren looked at what Levi was doing, slowly eating his breakfast. The only noises in the flat were Levi’s pen on paper, Eren’s chewing and the clock with its almost inaudible tick-tock.  
“You sure felt of the bed this morning” said Levi, stopping his correction. He again obtained a noise as an answer. Levi grab his bag and put his pencil case and folder in it.  
“What’s the plan today?” Asked Levi while doing it.  
“I’ll write, if I find inspiration… Maybe watch a movie or read or something like that… Well the routine.” Eren said before sipping his coffee.  
“Have fun then” he said, putting his coat.  
“You too.” Responded Eren as a goodbye. 

Sitting on the couch, his laptop on his legs, looking outside, his hand petting Pyewacket, his cat, Eren was trying to have a hint of inspiration. He was stuck on his new scenario for a mouth now and that was starting to be irritating. He sigh and close his laptop. It wasn’t there. He had no ideas. Or, for that matter, he had ideas but they weren’t satisfying enough for him to write them. He put his laptop on the living room’s table and went into the kitchen to make himself a drink. As he was shaking his drink, suddenly, inspiration came as if it was send by some mystic forces. He abandoned his ice coffee and went back on his laptop, driven by his swelling inspiration. 

As Levi came back home, Eren haven’t stopped written. He was taping madly on his keyboard. Eren was so passionate by his work that he didn’t noticed Levi. Levi didn’t dare bothered Eren. When he was writing nothing could stopped him. Or nothing has the right to do so. But eventually, as the time passed, he had to stop him. So Levi came back into the living room, where Eren was writing frantically.  
“Eren, we have to go.” Levi’s calm voice bring back Eren to the reality. He haven’t rose his nose from his laptop since he began to be inspired. He had lost track of time. Between the lines he was writing, he lost the meaning of his own life, living other adventures, which weren’t his. As he looked up to look at Levi, the concept of time suddenly hit him.  
“Wait?” he said, lost between the world he was ruling and the one which ruled him, “It’s already that late ?” He asked.  
“Well, yes, as you can notice.”  
“Shit! I have to take a shower and change!” and saying so he ran into the bathroom. 

On that Friday night, the main street was crowded. The air was still hot from the afternoon sun which hasn’t totally disappeared yet, painting the sky with a shy navy blue. Eren’s ocean blue eyes were fixing his own name, written over a piece of paper 3 times bigger than him. His name was little and lost between others, but it was there. It was small but it was the promise of the realization of his dream. This proved he was able to do it. The proof that his dream wasn’t just a dream anymore. Eren’s mind was fulled of thought toward that man whom once tried to break his dream.  
“I hope you’ll came and see it. Hope you’re nettled that 'a faggot like me' succeed, shithead.” Eren was proud of what he had done, of what he had accomplished. He was proud to be alive. Proud of himself.  
“Hey, fuckwit! we know you’re narcissist and all but move your ass!” aloudly said Jean, some meter further with his and Eren’s other friends, all waiting for him. Eren smiled against his will before he ran toward them. As he catch them up, without paying attention he put his hand in Levi’s one, dragging a comment from Jean  
“Ah ! Gayyy!”  
“Shut up, horse head!”  
As they merrily disappeared in the crow, the theater began the first showing of Eren’s first movie. 

AND CUT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of it! Honestly right now i have to say i'm proud of what i've created. This fic was kinda hard to write because i never wrote more than short one shots in English and the style of this fic isn't really like i use to (cause i love to put freaking huge descriptions but this one needed to be short and somehow sharp). Anyway! Thank you for reading it and reading it until the end! I hope you enjoyed it! Have a good day dear reader !


End file.
